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What Is Synergy In A Relationship?

July 09, 20213 min read

Synergy is an amazing concept, which declares that “1+1=3”.  How is that even possible?  In essence, it’s because synergy is “when two sources of energy combine to create an energy that is greater than the sum of the individual parts.” It originates from an Attic Greek word which means “working together”.

So naturally, in a relationship synergy means two individuals are joining forces to accomplish greatness.  In other words, by working together their dreams and goals can be realized on a larger scale than if each of them did the same thing individually.

How To Create Synergy In Your Relationship

According to Robert Ferguson, a Speaker and Writer, “When you want to create synergy, there are seven key components to consider – 4 ‘Cs’ on how you work together plus an ‘EAR’ on how you support your spouse". They are all connected to each other.  However, a brief analysis of each is provided to give you a better understanding of them.


You identify and establish what each person’s roles are, once you’ve defined your own goals.  Be very specific in doing so.  In other words, distinguish who does what and how each of your contributions assist in accomplishing those goals.



As a couple it’s all about teamwork.  It’s no longer what each of you want and need as individuals. Rather, concentrate on your mutual needs. Express trust and honesty in the process.  After all, everything is better when you’re working together. Better yet, Teamwork Makes The Dreamwork! 



Have regular conversations about all areas of your lives.  Let the positive things be a focal point in the conversation.

Also, be sure to talk about the difficult situations when you both are in a good frame of mind to do so. More importantly, don’t focus on the person but rather the issue at hand.  If you’re not big on communicating, I encourage you to read What is a healthy relationship must haves.



As a couple, cooperation is a valuable asset. Look for various activities to participate in that you both love so there is absolute enjoyment.  A “to do” project around the house that requires both of you to get it accomplished is one way to collaborate.  Each of you should feel gratification in your joint achievements.



Encouraging your partner in his/her endeavors goes a long way in a relationship.  Also, acknowledging your partner’s attributes and special gifts fosters continued self-confidence.  This type of encouragement and acknowledgment is beneficial to both of you.



This should go without saying, but recognizing and showing your partner that you are grateful for him/her speaks volumes.  Also, sometimes just a simple “thank you” shows you’re appreciative of his/her contributions.



Value your partner’s wishes and feelings, and yours should also be valued. Also, make an extra effort to keep your partner's ideas in mind and let him/her know that as well.  Keep your partner in mind when making decisions, and speak to each other in a courteous and considerate manner as this shows mutual respect.


In addition to these components, listening for understanding and comprehension is equally important. You should listen attentively to your partner to ensure you get a clear understanding of what is being said. 

Listening doesn’t always equate to agreeing; however, in listening you’re then able to communicate precisely about what you may not agree on. Also, we’re all guilty of formulating in our minds what we’re going to say next when we are conversing with either a partner or someone else.

We listen slightly to what the other person is saying. However, we’re mainly listening to our own inner dialogue of what may be a good response or even what the other person is actually saying. Ask a question rather than guessing, filling in the blanks or even jumping to conclusions.

In conclusion, Stephen Covey says it best: “Synergy is better than my way or your way. It’s our way”.  Make a conscious decision to create a mutual way of doing things, rather than having the mindset that it’s either “my way” or the “high way.”

Let us help you synergize your relationship!!

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