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Are You Ready For A Relationship?

July 03, 20216 min read

So, you think you may be ready for a relationship, but you’re still not completely sure about it.  Even though you may tell yourself you’re ready, ultimately your behavior, not your words, is the real tell-tale sign of whether or not you should take that leap into a relationship.

It can be difficult to know for certain if you’re ready for a relationship.  Perhaps you went through a bad breakup, or you’ve become content with being single again.  Following a breakup, you’re usually dealing with a lot of emotions. Your heartache may be taking a toll on you.

Therefore, it really depends on how you feel about yourself and your individual situation that determines how much time you need before starting another relationship.  Studies show that there is no specific time frame after a divorce or breakup before you start dating again.

Certainly, you have the opportunity to work on yourself as needed when you are single.   During this time, you’re also able to focus on what you do want and don’t want in a partner.  Hence, wanting a relationship and really being ready for one are completely different.

Here are some key signs to help you determine if in fact you are ready for a relationship.  Since we’re not perfect, don’t feel that the entire list has to apply to you.  These are just some indications to assist you in answering that important question “Are you ready for a relationship?”

You Don’t Expect Someone To “Save” You

Once you discard the notion that another person can “save” or “fix” you, then you’re ready to embrace love in a way that promotes a healthy relationship. 

Louise Hay said it perfectly, “Self-approval and self-acceptance in the now are the main keys to positive changes in every area of our lives.”  

Are you waiting for a man to come along and resolve all your emotional, physical or financial problems? Well, snap out of it because you don’t need him.  You have the power to take control of your life.

Accept responsibility for yourself as well as your actions.  Consequently, changes will occur when you take the initiate the ensure that they do. You are then able to give and receive love affectionately.

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You Are Over Your Ex

Simply put, if you’re not over your last relationship, you are definitely not ready to start a new one. 

Being hung up on your previous relationship will certainly prevent you from moving on to find a happy and healthy one. 

In Dr. Terri Orbuch’s study of couples, she states “people who were able to say ‘I don’t feel much of anything for my ex’ were more likely to find love.” She also says it’s important to recast your past.   

In addition, resist the urge to monitor your ex’s social media accounts.  If you’re still curious as to what your ex is doing and who he/she may be currently dating, then you’re not completely over that person. 

It is equally important to look for signs that anger is gone and that you’ve forgiven that person and yourself.

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You're Content With Your Life

You’re ready for a serious relationship once you realize that you don’t actually need a relationship to make you feel happy. 

In other words, you are satisfied with your current situation,  your life and yourself as a whole.  You feel good about yourself and recognize that you want a relationship, rather than need one. 

You understand that sharing your love is more important than receiving love.  Genuine happiness comes from yourself and within and once you have that, you are then ready for a relationship.

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You’ve Identified What You Want And What You Don’t Want

It’s important to have personal and moral values in your life. You want to take a good look at your personal and moral values before you enter into a relationship. 

You are aware of the things you liked about your partner and definitely those things you disliked about his/her behavior. In essence, you’re able to clearly identify any red flags early on.

When you do, end the relationship immediately.  You need to consider what are your top key life values and what other values and beliefs you’re not willing to compromise. 

Once these are well-defined, you can then start looking for a partner who has the qualities that you want and need.

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You Are Self-Confident

You are secure in yourself and your abilities when you’re self-confident.  It is an extremely attractive quality in a person.

When you’re self-confident, you don’t doubt yourself. Self-confidence doesn’t mean that you are cocky or arrogant. 

In other words, you just know yourself, your wants and your needs. You take pride in yourself.  You have the courage to stand up for what you believe in and what you know is right. 

Self-confidence has been referred to as “the most powerful aphrodisiac”.  It is a key quality to knowing that you are ready for a relationship. 

Once you have that, you are then able to attract someone who respects and appreciates you and him/herself in your relationship.

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You’ve Learned How To Communicate Effectively

Open, honest, and safe communication is essential for a healthy relationship.  If something is bothering you, it’s always best to discuss it rather than keeping it inside. 

Talk about what is happening and how you’re affected by it. Communicating effectively and constructively can be quite the challenge at times, but it doesn’t have to be. 

Ensure that it is the right time and place to communicate.  If either of you is very upset and obviously not in the frame of mind to have a constructive conversation, set aside another time to discuss the matter after you’ve cooled down.

Yelling, blaming or accusing each other, and name calling are not healthy and will only further escalate the situation.

You Are Not Lonely, Even When You Are Alone

Being lonely and being alone are two completely different things.  We all look forward to some alone time. 

It gives you the freedom to do what you want, when you want to do it.  You could watch a movie you love, read a book, or go on a shopping spree, and definitely not feel any type of loneliness.

Being alone helps you reflect on who you are and what you may want to improve about yourself.

Don’t get into a relationship because of loneliness.  It is sure to be unhealthy and likely to fail.

You’ve Learned From Past Mistakes

Acknowledge what mistakes you may have made in the relationship that contributed to its demise. 

Then develop a plan to not make the same ones again.  In addition, recognize what mistakes your partner made that you were previously willing to accept.

You can then make a conscious decision to not settle for the same thing in your next relationship. Rick Warren said “We are products of our past, but we don't have to be prisoners of it.”  It’s pointless to be in a relationship if you’re going to continue making the same mistakes.

Your experiences have taught you what worked well in your past relationship and what didn’t work.  Indeed, it has helped you to become a better person, one who is now ready to enter into a long-lasting and healthy relationship.

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Genuinely wanting a serious relationship is also a great sign of being ready for one. Be true to yourself, love yourself and enjoy life. 

Likewise, if you are truly ready to put in the time, effort and commitment, then you’re ready to do what it takes to enter into and maintain a happy and healthy relationship.

To determine if you're indeed ready for relationship, let's chat.

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